Back to our last kiss
by TheThirdKruger
Summary: A loop of memories takes over Jane back to the mountain, but after all, if she had to, she'd do it all again only to know that she and Kurt would be in each other's arms again.


I finally got time to edit/review and translate this, and he it is: my latest Jeller's oneshot and first here!

I had this idea while I listening to Taylor Swift's "Last Kiss". The song inspired a part of the story and yes, there's some lines of the song here. If you wanna catch the vibe listen to the song while you read ;)

Good reading, forgive me for eventual suffering and good Jeller for you ❤

* * *

I think when something comes to an end the images come back to our mind like a memories loop. Sitting on the terrace of our apartment wearing Kurt's shirt, all I know is that I don't know how I could hold on for so long.

Getting away from him was the hardest decision I ever made. I knew I'd hurt him, I knew that I might be _killing_ what we have, but at least he and the people we loved would be _alive_ and maybe even safe. For the love that I felt I couldn't let the threat that surrounded me comes to him.

I still remember the look on his face, the light from the lamp shining on his face in the darkness at 1:58 am. Sleeping so serene, calm, as if the world were in perfect harmony at that moment. _But it wasn't._ My heart, which actually belonged to you, cried out to me not to do this. You wish I had stayed but I couldn't. The words that you whispered that night saying that everything was going to be okay no matter what, it still echoes in my mind. You said you loved me, it was just a whisper but it echoed in my heart filling it you with our love. And then I had to do what I did, for our sake. _I had to leave._

I recall the smell of the rain fresh on the pavement, the beat of his heart jumping through his shirt as he hugged me on that day when we decided to go home walking and got rain on the way. I can still feel his arms around me that night as I shivered even wrapped in the blankets. I only stopped shaking when I felt your body warming mine.

I remember your walk, the swing in your step coming to me during our party. I rolled my eyes and then you pulled me to you even knowing that I don't know or like to dance. But for you, I danced. Several songs. Slow and some a little more pop.

I never thought we'd have one last kiss that day. His mouth so gentle against mine but without never losing intensity. Hot but still soft, our lips moving as one in a perfect fit as our bodies and heart, which were not two more but one beating and living as one.

I never imagined that it would be that way. I wish I had stayed because there wasn't a day when I don't remember how sometimes he interrupted me with a kiss while I was saying something. I missed those rude interruptions.

"You discovered my secret place." Kurt's voice awakens me bringing me back to the present. I look back and see he standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Your secret place?" I ask with a half smile on my face.

I was on the terrace of our apartment. There were a wooden coach, some pillows, and a coffee table. From there the view of the city was breathtaking. The sky seemed to be just above our heads and the moon seemed to shine especially for us.

"Yes," Kurt says. "The terrace and the sky were my place of peace on the days when I thought I'd losing my mind."

I stand out my hand for him, calling him to come near me and he soon picks her up, coming to sit beside me on the couch.

"I came here every night," he continues as he caresses my hand. "I looked at the sky wondering where you would be and remembered that no matter the distance that separated us physically, we were still under the same sky and watching the same stars.

We stare at each other stuck in the moment as if we were both afraid to stray and miss it. It was possible to see in the bottom of the each other's eyes all the passion, especially the longing and love reflecting like sparks when the blue of his eyes crossed with the green of mine. The time, the circumstances and motives that separated us during that time had left scars that we treated each day, but the intensity of what we felt for each other had grow even more. Beneath that starry sky and seeing the smile of the love of their life, they both knew that they'd to do it all again only to be here now, well and together again.

I come close to him and touch my lips on his in a calm but passionate kiss and then I smile accommodating me in your abdomen resting my head on his shoulder.

"And when it became difficult to breathe here I'd go out to walk" Kurt continues. "It didn't work because every place we went together had your mark reminding me of the jokes you made and then I remembered your laugh."

Kurt smiled slightly remembering something I said and immediately I'm smiling too, just for seeing the smile on his face. In all the time I've been away thinking about how much suffering he's through because of me was what hurt me the most.

"Every corner of our house screamed for you." He continues.

"Even the kitchen that is not one of my biggest fans?" I ask biting my lip remembering the many unsuccessful attempts to cooking for us.

"Especially it!" He laughs. "By the way, after me, it was the one that missed you the most."

"I think she was thankful to have no one to mess it up or breaking anything in an attempt to make a simple pasta." I tease, smiling to him.

"That's what she missed the most." He replies. "Without you, she got too clean. Except for some things that were broken."

I stare at him trying to decide if he really meant it. _And he was_.

"I don't believe it."

He just shakes his head in agreement confessing his crime and grimacing. Imagine Kurt always or almost all the time in control of yourself breaking something in the kitchen by suffering, anger or sadness caused by my absence strikes me, but at the same time it makes me laugh imaging the scene and I laugh. A fun and soft laugh that I thought I wouldn't feel again until weeks ago. A laugh of pure happiness that only existed when I was fine and with Kurt.

"I still can't believe you took a backpack and just go out looking for me." I say turning around and crossing my arms over his chest to can look at him.

"Let's just say there were a few more steps between getting the backpack and leave to looking for you," he replies with a smile. "But was basically it."

"You're crazy, you know that right?"

"I was crazy without you... Without feeling you on my arms." He replies hugging me. "Everywhere I looked or went, everything made me want to run the world to find you. So that's what I did."

"I love you. So much."

"I love you too. So much." he repeats looking into my eyes leaving the intensity of what he was saying implicit in every word.

"At night, when the stars lighted up the tent, I used to stare at the moon." I say with a smile on my face remembering the countless days when I did it. "Sometimes I talked, sometimes I just stare because somehow this brought me peace."

Feeling the tears on my face I look at the sky trying to look away from him, but Kurt touches my face gently bringing back to his while wiping my tears gently with his thumb.

"I never understood but now I know that the reason was _you_." my smile becomes bigger when I see in the depths of his eyes all the love that was reflected in mine too. "Always _you_."

Kurt caress my face and kiss me. Soft in the beginning but soon the kiss becomes intense. His hands run down my back coming under my shirt feeling my skin and urgent to feel every inch of my body.

"All of this led me to you." he whispers in my ear after breaking the kiss, repeating what he had said a little while ago. "You're the joy of my days, you fill my life and you're the color of my life."

I smile giving him a quick kiss lightly pulling his lower lip while he wraps his arms around me holding me tight against his body.

"There's only one thing left to be filled now."

"What?" I ask curiously.

"My stomach."

I laugh out loud lying my face on his shoulder and he took the opportunity to bite my earlobe, leaving a kiss clicked there.

"So let's try to fix it."

I get up reaching out for him, which he picks up promptly and we head to the kitchen to fill our stomachs, now that our hearts were overflowing with love.


End file.
